summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
