Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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