I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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