I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize