I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
