Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I smell stomach acid.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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