Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
