Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
