yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
