someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
