I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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