it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
