around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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