Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
