Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I fill condoms, not promises.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
