I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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