I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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