I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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