I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
