I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
