too bad you live with your parents still
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
