stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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