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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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