Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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