Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize