My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
