if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
