Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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