I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
