How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize