NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
