eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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