is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
