Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
