All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
