if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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