I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
