when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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