a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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