2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
she peed on how many people?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize