his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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