Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
