I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
