drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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