I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
