smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
