They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
