okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This is the high leading the old right now
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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