oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize