one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
