went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
