i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
