you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
