problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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