you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
