I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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