Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
