ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
