Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
