apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
