There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize