he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
