Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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