After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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