It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
