Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he just fucked me for my cheese.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
