this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
