the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
