Just fell off a train. Bad.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
